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This is a place where our classical hosts, interns and artists can share their stories, viewpoints and point of view on topics related to classical music and the arts in general. Come back to this page often to read the latest and share your comments.

From a College Senior: Reconciling with Uncertainty

Provided

Like many college students, Benji Wittman finds that his plans for the coming months have been scrapped  due to the threat of COVID-19.

Today, my summer internship was officially canceled. In response and in self reflection, I have collected some of my thoughts surrounding our lives in reference to the pandemic and how my perspective has been affected and figured it may be a helpful narrative of sorts for those who may be looking for a way to cope with or reconcile with the uncertainty.

Syracuse University Singers in Fall 2019

Like every Thanksgiving I have recollection of, this past fall, I remember going around the table with those closest to me and taking turns sharing what everyone was thankful for. My most recent reply to this prompt, over the extravagant holiday dinner, was centered around how thankful I was for the upcoming travel opportunities and occasions I was registered to participate in in correlation with my course of study at SU; specifically: attending the SXSW Conference in Austin TX, Touring France and Spain to compete in an international Choral Competition with the Syracuse University Singers, residing in NYC for the summer to work as a Licensing and Sync agent at Sony’s The Orchard, and walking across the stage with my fellow graduating seniors at Syracuse University’s 2020 VPA Convocation. 

Wittman at Carnegie Hall

Slowly but surely, the worldwide pandemic has changed and threatened these things, just six months ago, I was certain were the most important and concrete things to happen in the upcoming year (also being the events that I was so very much looking forward to as both a senior in college and a music professional). In reflection to the recent occurrences and responses, I am forced to realize: though I may be disappointed to the reality of how many of these things I had specifically declared as “what I was thankful for” have been drastically affected, I find I still have a strong sense of appreciation, which is quite contrary to what I would expect my reaction to be. I have reconciled that in truth, these opportunities are not and were not the true principal of what I am or was thankful for. In its place, I have grasped I am not at the will of the unforeseen circumstances of existence and do not feel as though I have been necessarily or specifically cheated.

Instead, more than ever, I have found a clarity and respect for the resilience I have developed through the evident variation and ambiguity of life. Through our journeys, there are new, clear emphases on things in our lives that are far more pertinent and crucial to our beings that truly put things into perspective; topics like life, death, family, and self-worth have been brought back to the forefront of the public mindset in some manifestation of these idea, allowing for the construction of a fresh, refreshing, perspective. 

If today were once again Thanksgiving, I like to think I would respond, “I have much respect and appreciation for the opportunities that were originally possible. I am thankful that I have become resilient and more whole through my journey to where I stand today that have translated to a calmness and centeredness amidst the chaos outside our homes. The uncertainty of life, as we’ve seen, can be the most beautiful thing and yet the most horrific. Through the revolving door of our ever-changing environment, I’d like to outwardly appreciate the many individuals, groups, and organizations comprised of my peers, friends, and family (all of whom I hold so dear) and reflect on how they have collectively created a frame for me to be beholden of the life I live.”

Today, I feel for those most affected and tremendously value those who put their lives at risk for the good of their neighbor, especially the medical professionals and essential personnel that have gone above and beyond the call of duty. I urge you to take this time to find the truth in your life especially with those you have chosen to spend your precious time with (friends, acquaintances, and of course family). Take this time to be the source of light for someone else in a darker world; take this time to be, know, do, and create your best. I have faith, beyond the ashes, we will be given the opportunity to be “more,” given the implicit, residual benefit such circumstances can create. From here, I challenge you to be tenacious, to deliberately conquer an understanding of the mosaic pieces of truth you may discover to redefine your perspective. Remember, understanding perspective is the first step in creating harmony.

Benji Wittman is a senior in the VPA Setnor School of Music and Whitman School of Management at Syracuse University.  Last summer he interned in the sound engineering department at WXXI.  Learn more about Wittman and his music here.